Not an Heirloom
by Midnathething
Summary: During an attack on his seventh birthday, Naruto meets Kurama. The seven year old, after learning that the fox was sealed into two Uzumaki other than him, promptly decides the Kyūbi is the best heirloom a boy could ask for.


**Author's Note: Well, this is definitely a crack fic. This cute little one-shot floated into my head and I decided I pretty much had to write it. Since the ending leaves room for expansion, there may be more chapters added or side fics posted.**

**I, sadly, do not own Naruto or Naruto Shippuden.**

**-Midnathething**

Kurama, the mighty Kyūbi, wasn't sure what it was that woke him up, but he was irritated with it for waking him up. He'd been sleeping dammit!

Finding out that he'd been woke up by a very small, very _blond_, blue-eyed child was even more irritating. "Again? Why do they keep doing this?! Who did I piss off to deserve this?" Kurama bellowed in frustration.

"You're a big fox. Why'r you in ma head?" The blond asked, looking like he was resisting the urge to suck on his thumb. It was definitely Kushina's brat.

The large fox turned to face Naruto. "I'm in your head because people keep _sealing me in Uzumaki_!" He growled, tails swishing in irritation.

The five year old blinked. "So I really am 'n Uzumaki? 'ts not just a name given ta me to honor some dead person?"

The fox couldn't help but cringe. "Right, if I have to be sealed into you grammar lessons are pretty damn high on the list of things you need... Oh, and yes, your mother was an Uzumaki."

The tiny blond blinked again. "So I really had parents? I didn' spring outta the ground like a mushroom like the mean lady said?"

The fox nearly slammed its head into a wall. "Yes, you had parents! The only clan that has children springing out of the ground like mushrooms are the Senju!" He snapped.

Naruto shrunk back, looking terrified. "Please don' hit me ..." He whimpered.

Kurama was, for what may have been the first time ever, concerned (and maybe a little guilty). "Do they do that when they're mad?" He asked softly, crouching down so that he was able to see the blond better.

"... Sometimes..."

Kurama growled. "If I'm going to be sealed in an Uzumaki _again_, the Uzumaki will at least be treated properly."

Naruto blinked. "Again? You've been sealed in 'n Uzumaki b'fore?"

"Two. You're the third one..." Kurama sighed.

"So you're like an inherit... An heirl... A thing someone get's from their family when something happens to their family!"

The Kyūbi was stunned. "Wha... No! No I am not an heirloom!"

But it was too late, the damage was done. "Yay! Yes! Whoohoo! I got something from my parents after all! They really did exist! This is the bestest birthday ever!"

Kurama was pretty sure most humans wouldn't consider finding out they'd had a demon sealed into them part of the greatest (bestest? Grammar lessons were more important than he'd thought) birthday ever. "I'm not an heirloom brat, now, what are you doing here and _why did you wake me up_? I was having a nice dream about tormenting Shukaku..."

The blond blinked. "Wha'sa Shukaku...? Oh, a Shikaku? Like Shikamaru's dad?"

"No, not like someone's father. Are you always like this?" Kurama sighed.

Naruto straightened, seemingly finally remembering why he was there. "Oh, yeah... There... There were mean people from the village... They had knives an' bottles... They started hurting me 'nd I ended up here." The boy shrunk again.

Kurama scowled. "Is this something that normally happens, brat?"

"No, yes, er... Only on my birthday, it's normal, don't worry about it!" Naruto answered quickly, not wanting to worry his new friend.

The Kyūbi growled. "Well..." He paused to think about how to phrase what he wanted to say. "You know how I was sealed inside of you?"

The Uzumaki nodded.

"I can help keep you safe, all you have to do is take this little bit of Chakra," Red energy began bubbling in front of Naruto, "Stay here, and let me take care of things." Kurama attempted to smile encouragingly, revealing many teeth.

"Really! Okay! Thanks, Mr. Heirloom-Fox!"

. . .

The people who were attacking Naruto were very confused when he suddenly woke with blood red eyes and a shriek about not being an heirloom. They didn't have to be confused for long.

**Updated 11/7/15: Minor changes to phrasing in a few places and grammar corrections. **


End file.
